THE DIFFICULTY OF SAYING 'NO'

AN APOLOGY OF SORTS

Last Saturday, I was called up to conduct interviews for a vacancy in my team, the first in my three and half year long career. It was nearly four years since I had answered campus interviews in the final year of my BE and to be frank, I was as very nervous in the beginning. In fact, I got up an hour early just to brush through the training material so that I would not end up making a fool of myself in front of candidates whom I was suppose to 'grill'. At the same time, I was happy too; after all, at a time when jobs are drying up, you do not get an opportunity to conduct interviews very often, more so since my company is not one of those 'mass recruiters'. I wore the same blue T shirt with thin white lines that I had worn while appearing for campus recruitment drives. Probably, this is what they mean when they say 'life has come full circle'.

Thank God for the fact that I had a experienced partner in a senior colleague who had conducted several job interviews in the past and is a master in identifying the right people for the job. That made my life much easier. He was extremely confident in his approach and knew what kind of questions to ask. That confidence rubbed on me and in my own opinion, I did a fairly good job. Of course, I did make some minor mistakes and there is a big scope for improvement, that is if I ever get a chance to do these kind of things again. By the end of the day, we had together interviewed three candidates, sending two to the next round while rejecting one person.

This candidate hailed from a small town and was working with a consultancy in a neighboring state. Though he was technically good, we were not sure whether he would fit into the team or not. After a round of discussion with other colleagues, we 'rejected' him. It took me more than two hours for me to get over this. I have always had this habit of finding it extremely difficult to say 'No'. There have been times that people have taken undue advantage of this and have made matters difficult for me. I am aware of this and have been trying hard to correct it. I know what I have done was not wrong. Still, when I think from the interviewee's perspective, I do feel unhappy. After all, every one wants a better job, more perks and a hefty salary.

Later in the day, I discussed this with Habbu Sir over a call. He being more pragmatic amongst us, tried to reassure me saying that I had done complete justice to my job as an interviewer. Probably God has something bigger and better stored in for that person. Wasn't Amitabh Bachchan rejected by AIR much before he became one of the biggest names in Indian cinema? May be my impression of him was completely wrong; may be someone else interviewing him recognizes his true potential and hires him. May be, in the next few days or weeks he might land up in a job where he would have much more job satisfaction than he would have got had he joined my company. Of course, that is something that I might never know. All I hope is that person does well in life and gets all the things he rightly deserves.

ALLES GUTE ZUM GEBURTSTAG AMBA

THIS ONE IS FOR A DEAR FRIEND

It was in the middle of ninth standard, sometime in November 2004 when I first met this fair, tall guy who had just rejoined Mushtifund High School after a short stay in his hometown of Pune. We had very little interaction back then; one which I distinctly remember was at the Fire Brigade ground in Panjim during the practice for the Annual Sports Day where he told me that he had a copy of Dr Salim Ali's The Book of Indian Birds. I asked if I could borrow it for a 'few days' and he obliged; the book which is a field guide to the different avian species found in the country remained in my possession for six months and not even once did he complain or fuss about it. Still, to be frank, we were not 'buddies' in true sense. However, things changed in Mushtifund Higher Secondary when the two of us landed in the same division. In fact, over a period of time, we came to know each other well and soon became good friends.

Apart from the fact that we were and still continue to be Habbu Sir's ladkos (favorites), back then we would talk a lot on a wide range of topics - politics, history, share market, sports, social issues, books and yes studies too, although that was quite rare. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised by his versatility and floored by two qualities which in my opinion define him - humility and honesty. While our friendship grew deeper in those two years, things changed in Goa Engineering College. We traveled together, sat on the same bench, bunked the same lectures, copied the same assignments (in fact the whole class copied it from Sav), studied from the same books and most importantly 'admired' the same girls. In fact at the end of those unforgettable four years, we were not friends anymore, we were more than that - we were brothers, well not just me and him, everyone in that group which sat on the third bench - the witty Niketh (Please note that the extra 'h' is not a spelling mistake, it is just the way he writes his name), the genius Savalo, the lover-boy Sai and the brainy Datta. Today, as Ambarish Kulkarni or Amba as I prefer calling him, turns a year older, I want to go down the memory lane and dig into the memories of the time we have spent together in the last nine years, something that I will treasure for life.

I have always idolized people who have fought against odds, who have risen from the ashes, defied the norms and won when the world had written them off. This is precisely the reason that I love the 'Comeback Man of Indian Cricket' - Sourav Ganguly and personally consider Emperor Humayun to be far greater than Akbar. I am extremely proud to say that Amba has been blessed with this quality. It was in February 2007 and we had just finished our prelims. In those days, answering chemistry exams was nothing less than a nightmare. However, by this time, many of us had figured ways to tackle Miss Menon's googlies. Unfortunately, Amba was not one of them. To be frank, chemistry was never his forte; not that I was brilliant at it. Meanwhile, he had not scored well in the exams - the semi-final before the all-important boards and was highly dejected. Habbu Sir later told me that he had never seen Kulkarni so sad. Not being the one to take things lying down, he put in extra hours, working on the problem areas (Organic Chemistry) while perfecting the topics in which he was already good. In the next few months, he scripted a fairy tale, faring well, first at the boards and then coming out with flying colors in GCET. Not many would have expected him to do so well, especially after the prelim results. However, through sheer dedication and hard work, he turned things around, much to the delight of all his family and well-wishers. In fact, he faced several such setbacks during Engineering too yet he fought them and won. They say 'Whatever does not kill me, makes me stronger'. Ambarish for me personifies this.

Another of his strengths is the strong value system that his parents have imbibed in him. While it is true that his parents deserve credit for this, you have to give Amba his due for not wavering from them. He is a man of principles; I have seen him falling into trouble for standing up for what he thinks is right. I am not sure how many of us have that kind of courage. In the eight years we studied together, one more thing that I have envied about him is the fact that he has an extremely clean public image. An episode in this regards is the election to the Computer Council - CURSOR during the third year of our degree. The post of Treasurer or the Finance Secretary was an important one. Besides the prestige, you are also responsible for the collection of funds and its proper utilization. It was very common for people to fall for greed and swindle money for personal use. This had happened many times in the past. Considering this, I was a little surprised when Kulkarni told me that he would contest for the post. One thing that we all knew was that he was the best candidate for this position considering his in depth knowledge of finance and economics. To add to it, his clean image helped him get the coveted post unopposed... yes you are right, he and Niketh (Technical Secretary) were the only ones to be elected unopposed. In a class like ours which was fragmented into numerous groups, this was a huge feat. The best part of the whole thing was that in the entire year, not once was any allegation of wrong doing made against him. You know, these positions come with a high amount of risk; people with malicious intentions can easily malign your image even when you have done no wrong. To see Ambarish come out of this Agnipariksha without any blemishes was indeed a delight. Our Council Adviser Miss Maruskha was highly impressed with him for the manner in which he had conducted himself. Believe me, to get a compliment from her is quite an achievement in itself.

There are so many things that I have personally learnt from Kulkarni. He was the one who introduced me to the world of blogging; I distinctly remember him asking me to blog about Indian history as early as 2008. I am extremely grateful to him for introducing me to this hitherto unknown world; seriously, I cannot imagine my life today without Abhiprai. Secondly, his flare to learn new thing is indeed appreciable. Tell me who has the determination to learn German after office hours? I have been wanting to learn Kannada for nearly two and half years now and all that I have done till now is nothing. His social network is huge; he is even in contact with friends whom he made in Standard II. Now that is quite some time back. Finally, I do envy his lean physique. However, with my unhealthy eating habits and hatred for exercise, I am not sure whether I will ever get into that kind of shape. Now as I end this post, I want to recollect one more incident that happened in 2009. While coming back from college, we were arguing and things went a little out of hand. While I was stating facts when I said that Emperor Ashoka's empire was far bigger than Shivaji's kingdom, Amba was deeply hurt. There was a heated exchange of words till I gave up. When I went home that night, I wondered whether things would ever be the same again between us. However, when we met the next morning at the Panjim bus stop, the first thing that he did was offered an apology for losing his temper. Of course, both of us stood our ground in that argument, I still believe that the Mauryan Emperor is great whereas he still continues to worship Shivaji, but his ability to accept his mistake of losing his temper made me respect him all the more. It was then that I realized how much mature our friendship had become over the years; we could be friends in spite of having diverse opinion on so many topics.

The last one year has not been a good one for Ambarish. On the personal front, he did face some serious problems. However, like always, I know he will bounce back; he had done this so many times in the past and I see no reason why he would not this time around. As a colleague, as a friend and as a brother, I wish that the next twelve months be the best of his life so far. Happy birthday Amba. May you find success in everything you do throughout your life.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY

MUMMY TURNS A YEAR YOUNGER

She is the most important person in my life at present. Whatever I am today, rather whatever we are today, either individually or as a family is largely because of her and the innumerable sacrifices that she makes for us each day, some of which are not valued at times. My dearest mom turned a year older younger yesterday - 4^th January and her birthday was a reason that called for a huge celebration. Like those feasts celebrated in the honor of deities and saints, I think it is a perfect occasion for us to be grateful to her for the countless things she has done for us. Moreover, it was a Saturday and the Chillar Party - yes that is what my mom calls us (Da, Bhabi & me) was at home. Most of the day was spent chatting. Bhabi who has been spending a lot more time in the kitchen lately, made Vegetable Pulav and Tomato Raita for lunch. Though it sounds and even looks pretty simple, it was superb. In the evening, we had a photo session... you see my mom just loves being clicked. 

Later all of us, headed to Indira Nagar to have dinner at Punjabi Rasoi which as the same suggests is a North Indian restaurant near the BDA complex. As Da picked up dad on the bike, the rest of us took an auto. Much cheaper compared to other hotels in the vicinity, we used to regularly visit this place in 2012 when Da and Bhabi were staying away from us. While the ambiance may not be the best, the food served here, including their home made pickle is fantastic. The dim lighting meant that I could not click many snaps; however the tasty food more than made up for the disappointment. We ordered Chicken Chaat and Tomato Chicken for starters. While the former has for long, been my favorite, I must say that I enjoyed the latter more. The tender chicken cooked in spicy, delicious gravy stole the show. For the main course, we gorged on Patiala Chicken and Chicken Lababdar with Naan. Meanwhile, the ladies had Panner Tikka and Vegetable Kofta.

Earlier in the day, Da and Bhabi had got cupcakes from Cupcake Noggins; we generally cut cake on our birthdays since we have shifted to Bangalore followed by dinner which is ordered from some nearby restaurant. However, going together to Punjabi Rasoi was a welcome change. We reached home by 9:45 pm at night with Pappa accompanying me and mummy in the rickshaw. We had a small cake cutting ceremony with the birthday girl... yes GIRL doing the honors. We ended the day watching Comedy Nights with Kapil.

NEW YEAR, NEW RESOLUTIONS

MY RESOLUTIONS FOR THE YEAR 2014

Wishing you all a happy new year. I would have loved this to be my first post of the year. However my last post (Link), a quiz on the life of the great Alan Turing - a person who I have been inspired to a large extent lately, is technically my premiere post of 2014. Moving on, my Bhabi had once told me to write more about myself and things happening in my life. She said that some years later, reading such posts would make me happy. Though I ridiculed her then, on retrospection, I think she was right. Waah Bhabi, aap great ho. And what better way to start this than jotting down my resolutions for the year on my blog. I guess making a note of the resolutions would motivate me to fulfill them. May be in the last week of December, I can revisit the post and asses my performance over the last 12 months. Below is a list of things that I want to do in 2014.

On the personal front, I will be completely a two and half decade of existence this March and I think I need to give more time to myself and my family. So the resolutions in this category include:

(1)  Drink more water... at least 5 glasses per day

(2)  Exercise regularly and lose 2 kilogram

(3)  Eat more fruits

(4)  Go for an eye test

(5)  Talk more to Mummy... general things, gossip, E24 News etc

(6)  Be more patient while talking to dad

(7)  Speak to Dada at least twice a week

(8)  Speak to friends more regularly

(9)  Reduce work related stress

(10) Be more punctual... time management is the mantra

As far as my hobbies are concerned, my resolutions are as follows:
(1) Read more about Indian history, wildlife, politics and mythology
(2) Visit five places around Bengaluru - Srirangapattnam, Mysore, Kokre Belur, Nandi Hills and so on
(3) Visit places like lakes and historic temples in Bengaluru and write about them
(4) Watch at least 50 documentaries
(5) See at least ten good movies in this year
(6) Read five good books on any topic other than history or wildlife
(7) Draw/Sketch more
(8) Learn Javascript and little bit of Kannada
(9) Vote in the General Elections 2014... party yet to be decided
(10) Get a driving license

Photography is my latest hobby; I think my camera Canon SX50HS is the best gift that I have ever got. Thank you Da. I want to hone my photography skills this year. So here are the resolutions:
(1) Click more pictures
(2) Manage photos well... I mean segregate them like the songs on my disk
(3) Move from Auto and Program mode and explore other options
(4) Click 40 new species of birds this year
(5) Click more photos of people

And last but not the least, the resolutions regarding my blog are as follows:
(1) Publish 100 posts this year... history, politics, wildlife, photos any thing will do
(2) Write at least one post on history and wildlife per month
(3) Publish more photos
(4) More musings on the blog
(5) Write for two contests featuring on Indiblogger